Why I Don’t Do Interviews

I don’t do interviews…at least not very often.  And I do this for the same reason that you should be quite when it comes to your lifestyle and the women you date.

Since my first book was released, I’ve been contacted by a ton of people wanting me to do radio and television interviews.  And the print guys, the newspapers and magazines that talk about me, they all want some kind of official press kit with a photo and other info on me.

And not only that, I’ve got agents and others who want to represent me and “do big things” like reality television shows and who knows what else.

While I do an occasional print interview, I never do anything on radio or television as I want to keep as low-key as possible.  I’m a “celebrity” of sorts within this community, but I have no desire for any more people knowing who I am…regardless of the great ego stroke it would be.

I’m here because I love this.  I write books on the subject of seduction because I feel it’s something that will better men.  And when I say that, I’m talking about something that is much bigger than simply meeting, approaching, and dating lots of women.

I know you guys want more info and I’m working on a way to deliver it for you.  I’ve been writing a lot and have some REALLY good stuff that will blow your minds coming out within the next few weeks.  But as far as any kind of “home study course” or taped seminar, it’s doubtful I’ll ever do that.  I’m simply more interested in keeping anonymous to the general public and continuing to live the life I want.

With that said, I’ll be continuing to do small “bootcamp” type events, where I can work with guys in a small group.  Right now, the only way to be invited is to be recommended by somebody who has already attended.  However, if that changes, readers of this site will be the first to know.

Spring is here, my friends.  Get off the computer and go out and meet some people!

Handing Over Your Man Card

Was at the party over the weekend. And, as usual, when I walked in heads turned. You could feel the energy in the room shift.

“Who is that guy?”

It’s not because I’m extremely good looking or anything… It’s because how I handle myself. Anywhere I go, regardless of whether it’s a party or a funeral, I approach with purpose.

And my purpose at this party? Be confident, make the people I’m with feel good, but also be approachable. It’s a fine line– you don’t want to be so confident that you scare people away.

But seeing as how I’ve got it down, it didn’t take long for me to have a hot babe come up to me and start talking…

And it wasn’t like she was just sitting there. I actually took her away from another conversation she was having…all within 60 seconds of arriving.

And she wasn’t the only one…

Specifically, there was one chick on the other side of the room, sitting next to her boyfriend, also checking me out, even waiving at me…

You should have seen those two. The guy, whom I’m sure is very nice, was just sitting there, overwhelmed by all the people, like a deer staring at pair of headlights.

The girlfriend, who was very hot by the way…short blonde hair, green eyes, about 5′9″, and maybe a Size 2, like a runway model, was there next to him, keeping her distance, but trying to keep face. She had class.

There was a moment I actually felt a bit of sympathy toward him…

Imagine, you’ve finally got a date with a totally hot chick, who is really nice, but she is bored out of her skull, ready to go home, and checking out somebody else, right in front of you.

And let me make it clear that it wasn’t because she was a jerk. She simply couldn’t help herself…

Might as well just hand over your Man Card right there. Especially when this is such an easy thing to fix…

Look at this video. Sure, there are women like this in the world, but even the ones who go this route, usually aren’t really happy with it. So when something comes along which is perceived to be better, you can bet they’re going to go for it.

Remember these three things…

1. Women want to have fun.

2. Women want to relax.

3. Women want you to take control.

I know I’ve got guys on here who are simply looking to get laid, and it certainly works for that, but this is so much bigger than that. Sex simply comes with the territory.

By the way, if you’re just looking to get laid, my suggestion is to skip all this and just hire a hooker. It’s a lot easier and you’ll be dealing with a pro.

Back to what I said above…

Women want to have fun. You know that. And I’m not talking about “party girls” either. I’m simply saying that women, like most people, have enough “work” in their lives. So give them a break from it.

Women want to relax. Can you imagine dating a guy like the dude on the couch? That’s how most men are…and women are sick of that. The only reason this guy was able to show up with her was because he got to her in a moment of desperation. And believe me, a hot chick like that doesn’t stay desperate for long.

And yes, women want you to take control. I’m not saying to be a dick and make all the decisions, but women are biologically followers. Again, I’m not saying they want you to make all the decisions, but 99% of them have enough of the decision making process each day to satisfy them for a week. Give them a break and take the lead for a bit.

Some guys have an issue with this. My thoughts…

The “lead and follow” is a partnership. You’ll offering to take control. Whether or not she lets you is her business. Don’t feel weird about it.

If you guys are just coming up, let me give you a technique…

Let’s say you’re going out to dinner and you want pizza. You make the decision for that, ahead of time, and there is no discussion. But you ask her, “Do you want Pizza Hut or Dominos?”

You’ve taken control, but still given her an option so she doesn’t feel like you’re a totalitarian. See what I mean?

It works with anything…movies, drinks, anything.

Good luck!

True Players and Homosexuals

What’s with some of you guys? Gay folks mean more chicks for us. Some of the blatant homophobia in this community makes me wonder if you’re pulling a “Senator Craig” and trying to draw attention from your own homosexual tendencies.

You guys will relate to this…

The Sad Truth About Relationships

How to Date Multiple Women at Once

Saw a guy at the gym yesterday and he’s getting calls on his mobile phone like crazy. I’m not one to eavesdrop, but from what I could gather, he was talking to a girlfriend…or maybe more than one.

A couple of thoughts…

1. The dude is supposed to be working out. Isn’t that the purpose of being in a gym? How can you workout (or do anything) when your phone is ringing all the time?

2. You should never be this available.

For some reason, over the last decade, people have developed the mindset that they should be available to other people, all the time, 24 hours per day. This isn’t a belief that I share.

Do you really want to be attached to some piece of equipment? Sure, you may be “mobile” and able to move around, but when it comes down to it, there is really no difference between a mobile phone and being chained to a desk (or a woman) if you have to answer it all the time.

Turn the phone off. Take back control of your time.

People will be there when you get back to them. And the women who call? They’ll want you even more. Trust me on this.

If you’re dating more than one person, it’s especially important that you turn off the phone. You need to train her that you’re not always around. You need to make sure she knows that you have stuff to do…other than take her calls.

No disrespect to women, by the way. You should train all people of this. You’re not “on call” are you?

Why You Need a Partner in Crime

The guys who are doing this with a partner have the best success.

If you’re just started out on this whole pickup thing, work on finding a good partner that you can work with. Here’s why…

1. There will be some days you just don’t want to put in the work.

Let’s face it, looking at yourself through a microscope can be a bit intimidating. That’s why do many people who through their lives being mediocre. You don‘t have to change, remember.

2. Feedback is essential.

Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself and how things really are. That’s why it’s really beneficial to have somebody you can go to for feedback and an honest opinion.

Guys like me and like you, we intimidate people… And once you start having success with women on a regular basis and people start to take not, you’re really going to intimidate people.

When this happens, folks get jealous. And when people get jealous, they want to see you fail.

Do you think you’ll get honest feedback from somebody in a situation like that?

So find somebody not who knows that there is more to you than an ability to pickup women and more to why you do it than it may appear to the outside world.

Negativity = Less Dates

It doesn’t pay to be negative.  Yet, just a few minutes of browsing some of the top “seduction communities” online, and you’ll see plenty of people who feel it does.

Don’t get me wrong.  For the most part, I think the top guys in this field really have it together.  These dudes “get it” and they’re seeing results.

But the other guys who are always on each other, or bitching about the “UG” chicks they aren’t interested in, or making fun of “AFC” guys who are trying to better themselves, or just basically complaining…you guys need a mirror.  People, women included, don’t want to be around folks who are negative all the time.

Yet some people will hang around with anybody…usually those who have no other options.  And what kind of people have no other options?

On a positive note, this situation is a good reminder that all of us need to look in the mirror…

• What are you doing now?
• What is working for you?
• What isn’t working for you?
• What can you improve on?

I see too many guys take this whole “Alpha Male” bit to the extreme.  What ends up happening is they become unapproachable.  And even though it’s men doing 90% of the approach in this game, you’ve still got to “leave the door open” if you want her to respond in a positive way.  Don’t intimidate.  She needs to feel like you’re on her team, too; not just a player on yours.

I’m by no means telling you to be a “people pleaser” here, but if you have somebody in your life that you really trust, and I hope you do, ask for feedback.  And when you get it, don’t start making excuses.  Just write it down, analyze it, and see if you can improve on things.

Yes, when you ask for an opinion, you may get something which is total BS.  But if you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, don’t just act like you’re not involved in the situation.  Chances are, there is some truth to what is being said.

This is why you want to find people you can trust.

More on that shortly…

The Return of Tommy Orlando

I guess the fact that I haven’t posted for a month is yet more evidence that I don’t advertise.

And speaking of people who don’t advertise…

Not that I’m really involved in the “seduction scene” or whatever you want to call it, but I know a bit about its history.

Things for guys who are interested in this have changed over the last few years. The whole thing a few years ago was about guys who were trying to better themselves…and everything centered around that. For example, maybe somebody was doing well with his job, but he needed a bit of help on the relationship end. So groups of guys would get together and help him out, teaching him what they had learned over trial and error.

And if you wanted to find out about this stuff, you had to search it out.

Then some of these guys, you know who they are, came along with books by big publishers, or television shows, and that changed everything. And the “community” became flooded with people who thought the whole thing was about getting laid.

Well, I’m here to tell you that “seduction” and everything that goes with it is about a lot more than “getting laid.” Sure, that can be part of it, but this isn’t just about mind games and tricks to get your wick wet.

About where I’ve been…

I’m adding a couple of more volumes to my “Player’s Handbook” series. In these volumes, I’ll be going deeper into seduction and what it really is.

Some of the feedback on Volume 1 and 2 is that it’s just basic stuff. And some guys get pissed off that I’m not giving out setups that you can walk into a club and use right out of the box.

First of all, the “basic” stuff is the foundation that you need to build on things. To use a bodybuilding analogy, you can’t lift the heavy weights until you’ve able to life the lighter ones.

You see, that’s part of the problem with the new found popularity of seduction. You’ve got guys who want to do this stuff right away. If there are 10 girls in the room, they want to be able to pick up 9 of them…on first attempt.

It’s not that easy. Guys like me just make it appear that way.

And as far as the people looking for me to provide them setups which they can take straight from the book into the club, that’s not effective. For one, women are individuals. A true pickup artist is able to create this stuff on the fly, tailoring it to the woman he is dealing with at the time. Canned “pickup lines” don’t work.

Trust me…if you stick with this blog, you’re going to start to understand all this. I’ve made it my personal goal to bring back the “old school” seduction community and everything around doing that is going to start right here at TommyOrlando.com.

Tommy Orlando Doesn’t Advertise

Made a comment a few days ago about how I don’t dress like a pimp. There are two reasons for this:

1. I don’t advertise. – When I walk into a room, the people there feel my confidence and energy. I don’t need to use stunts like a loud introduction or crazy clothing.

Look, if you want to get high-caliber women, you’ve got to dress nice, but that doesn’t mean you need to look like something out of a blaxploitation movie or Motley Crue video.

2. Clothing should reflect who you are. – If you’re looking to upgrade your wardrobe, good for you. As I mentioned above, to get a high-caliber women, one who takes care of herself, you need to look like you also take care of yourself.

But… Just because a certain style works for somebody, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

Women can spot something fake a mile away. Clothing needs to be a reflection of who you are, not who somebody else is.

Think of clothing, or your style, like this… You are who you are. You can change that, sure, but even if you do, you want something that exaggerates your personality…something that holds a megaphone to it and makes things 1000x louder.

Think about how women do it with physical appearance. If they’re got great breasts, they’ll often wear a shirt which compliments that aspect. And if they’ve got a great backside, tight jeans will make sure you don’t miss it.

Your “style” when it comes to clothing, or anything really, should follow the same concept. Not only do you want to accentuate your best physical attributes, but you also want to wear (or drive, or live in) something which allows you to best be who you are.

If a pimp suit works for you and is a reflection on who you are, go for it. But don’t think you have to go off the deep end when it comes to clothes. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, when I walk into a room, the people there feel my confidence and energy. For me, a pimp suit would take away from that.

Seduction Techniques of Tommy Orlando

Have had a few comments asking more about my techniques and philosophy on meeting women and seduction. Is there a name for the process? Do the techniques have names?

To be completely honest with you, I’ve never thought about either of these things. I’m a guy, much like you, who enjoys the company of women. I got where I am right now, with the blog, the books, and an occasional workshop, because people saw what I was doing, how well it worked for me, and told their friends. It’s all happened because people have come to me. Unlike a lot of the seduction “gurus” out there, I’m not a marketing guy interested in cashing in on you.

I’m not motivated by ego. I’ve got no problems with folks who want to go on television, either for an interview or a reality show, but it’s just not my style. I do this because I love women, not because I want to be some kind of celebrity, or legend in my own mind.

I don’t have a “lair.” I don’t dress like a pimp. And I don’t have a funny nickname.

“Game” is what we call it, but it’s anything but that. This is an adult lifestyle, not something for kids.

With that said, I do enjoy helping people and have been encouraged to set up a mailing list to keep in touch with people interested in meeting women and seduction. I am in the process of making that happen now, so watch for something shortly.

Hope you’re off to a great year!