Handing Over Your Man Card

Was at the party over the weekend. And, as usual, when I walked in heads turned. You could feel the energy in the room shift.

“Who is that guy?”

It’s not because I’m extremely good looking or anything… It’s because how I handle myself. Anywhere I go, regardless of whether it’s a party or a funeral, I approach with purpose.

And my purpose at this party? Be confident, make the people I’m with feel good, but also be approachable. It’s a fine line– you don’t want to be so confident that you scare people away.

But seeing as how I’ve got it down, it didn’t take long for me to have a hot babe come up to me and start talking…

And it wasn’t like she was just sitting there. I actually took her away from another conversation she was having…all within 60 seconds of arriving.

And she wasn’t the only one…

Specifically, there was one chick on the other side of the room, sitting next to her boyfriend, also checking me out, even waiving at me…

You should have seen those two. The guy, whom I’m sure is very nice, was just sitting there, overwhelmed by all the people, like a deer staring at pair of headlights.

The girlfriend, who was very hot by the way…short blonde hair, green eyes, about 5′9″, and maybe a Size 2, like a runway model, was there next to him, keeping her distance, but trying to keep face. She had class.

There was a moment I actually felt a bit of sympathy toward him…

Imagine, you’ve finally got a date with a totally hot chick, who is really nice, but she is bored out of her skull, ready to go home, and checking out somebody else, right in front of you.

And let me make it clear that it wasn’t because she was a jerk. She simply couldn’t help herself…

Might as well just hand over your Man Card right there. Especially when this is such an easy thing to fix…

Look at this video. Sure, there are women like this in the world, but even the ones who go this route, usually aren’t really happy with it. So when something comes along which is perceived to be better, you can bet they’re going to go for it.

Remember these three things…

1. Women want to have fun.

2. Women want to relax.

3. Women want you to take control.

I know I’ve got guys on here who are simply looking to get laid, and it certainly works for that, but this is so much bigger than that. Sex simply comes with the territory.

By the way, if you’re just looking to get laid, my suggestion is to skip all this and just hire a hooker. It’s a lot easier and you’ll be dealing with a pro.

Back to what I said above…

Women want to have fun. You know that. And I’m not talking about “party girls” either. I’m simply saying that women, like most people, have enough “work” in their lives. So give them a break from it.

Women want to relax. Can you imagine dating a guy like the dude on the couch? That’s how most men are…and women are sick of that. The only reason this guy was able to show up with her was because he got to her in a moment of desperation. And believe me, a hot chick like that doesn’t stay desperate for long.

And yes, women want you to take control. I’m not saying to be a dick and make all the decisions, but women are biologically followers. Again, I’m not saying they want you to make all the decisions, but 99% of them have enough of the decision making process each day to satisfy them for a week. Give them a break and take the lead for a bit.

Some guys have an issue with this. My thoughts…

The “lead and follow” is a partnership. You’ll offering to take control. Whether or not she lets you is her business. Don’t feel weird about it.

If you guys are just coming up, let me give you a technique…

Let’s say you’re going out to dinner and you want pizza. You make the decision for that, ahead of time, and there is no discussion. But you ask her, “Do you want Pizza Hut or Dominos?”

You’ve taken control, but still given her an option so she doesn’t feel like you’re a totalitarian. See what I mean?

It works with anything…movies, drinks, anything.

Good luck!

Why You Need a Partner in Crime

The guys who are doing this with a partner have the best success.

If you’re just started out on this whole pickup thing, work on finding a good partner that you can work with. Here’s why…

1. There will be some days you just don’t want to put in the work.

Let’s face it, looking at yourself through a microscope can be a bit intimidating. That’s why do many people who through their lives being mediocre. You don‘t have to change, remember.

2. Feedback is essential.

Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself and how things really are. That’s why it’s really beneficial to have somebody you can go to for feedback and an honest opinion.

Guys like me and like you, we intimidate people… And once you start having success with women on a regular basis and people start to take not, you’re really going to intimidate people.

When this happens, folks get jealous. And when people get jealous, they want to see you fail.

Do you think you’ll get honest feedback from somebody in a situation like that?

So find somebody not who knows that there is more to you than an ability to pickup women and more to why you do it than it may appear to the outside world.

Negativity = Less Dates

It doesn’t pay to be negative.  Yet, just a few minutes of browsing some of the top “seduction communities” online, and you’ll see plenty of people who feel it does.

Don’t get me wrong.  For the most part, I think the top guys in this field really have it together.  These dudes “get it” and they’re seeing results.

But the other guys who are always on each other, or bitching about the “UG” chicks they aren’t interested in, or making fun of “AFC” guys who are trying to better themselves, or just basically complaining…you guys need a mirror.  People, women included, don’t want to be around folks who are negative all the time.

Yet some people will hang around with anybody…usually those who have no other options.  And what kind of people have no other options?

On a positive note, this situation is a good reminder that all of us need to look in the mirror…

• What are you doing now?
• What is working for you?
• What isn’t working for you?
• What can you improve on?

I see too many guys take this whole “Alpha Male” bit to the extreme.  What ends up happening is they become unapproachable.  And even though it’s men doing 90% of the approach in this game, you’ve still got to “leave the door open” if you want her to respond in a positive way.  Don’t intimidate.  She needs to feel like you’re on her team, too; not just a player on yours.

I’m by no means telling you to be a “people pleaser” here, but if you have somebody in your life that you really trust, and I hope you do, ask for feedback.  And when you get it, don’t start making excuses.  Just write it down, analyze it, and see if you can improve on things.

Yes, when you ask for an opinion, you may get something which is total BS.  But if you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, don’t just act like you’re not involved in the situation.  Chances are, there is some truth to what is being said.

This is why you want to find people you can trust.

More on that shortly…

Tommy Orlando Doesn’t Advertise

Made a comment a few days ago about how I don’t dress like a pimp. There are two reasons for this:

1. I don’t advertise. – When I walk into a room, the people there feel my confidence and energy. I don’t need to use stunts like a loud introduction or crazy clothing.

Look, if you want to get high-caliber women, you’ve got to dress nice, but that doesn’t mean you need to look like something out of a blaxploitation movie or Motley Crue video.

2. Clothing should reflect who you are. – If you’re looking to upgrade your wardrobe, good for you. As I mentioned above, to get a high-caliber women, one who takes care of herself, you need to look like you also take care of yourself.

But… Just because a certain style works for somebody, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

Women can spot something fake a mile away. Clothing needs to be a reflection of who you are, not who somebody else is.

Think of clothing, or your style, like this… You are who you are. You can change that, sure, but even if you do, you want something that exaggerates your personality…something that holds a megaphone to it and makes things 1000x louder.

Think about how women do it with physical appearance. If they’re got great breasts, they’ll often wear a shirt which compliments that aspect. And if they’ve got a great backside, tight jeans will make sure you don’t miss it.

Your “style” when it comes to clothing, or anything really, should follow the same concept. Not only do you want to accentuate your best physical attributes, but you also want to wear (or drive, or live in) something which allows you to best be who you are.

If a pimp suit works for you and is a reflection on who you are, go for it. But don’t think you have to go off the deep end when it comes to clothes. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, when I walk into a room, the people there feel my confidence and energy. For me, a pimp suit would take away from that.

Ho Ho Ho – Getting Dates During the Holidays

I hope you gentlemen appreciate the opportunity all around you this month.

Normally, dating is something that men control. What I mean by that is dating is something where men make the decision to pursue somebody. Women, for the most part, sit and wait for men to take action.

Not right now though. It’s December and women do not want to be alone for the holidays. So if you’re putting yourself out there and being available, they’ll do the rest. That’s not to say you can’t make an approach this month… But if you just want to sit back and take a break, you can. Believe me, you’ll still get a lot of action.

The first place I suggest you hit this month is the holiday party scene. Most people will be there with somebody…or at least it appears that way. When you show up alone, or with a female friend, word will get out that you’re single and you’ll have women all over you. Again, the thought is that the majority of people at a holiday party are with somebody, so that’s going to open you up to a lot of single women who aren’t comfortable with their situations.

Seducing Women: It Takes All Kinds

I’ve been with a lot of women. I’ve also observed a lot of men trying to seduce women. It’s been interesting to notice how men have several different ways of expressing their desires and have different seduction techniques.

Here’s what I’ve noticed:

Silent Player
Some men like to be the silent admirers. Their actions are very simple. They will stare at a woman and not initiate any conversation. Every time a woman looks at them, they smile back but say nothing. Sometimes the woman would get up and initiate a conversation while other times, she would just walk past and not give another glance.

“In Your Face” Player
Other men are “in your face” types. They are very direct and will tell a woman exactly what’s on their mind and what their intention is. Some women find the direct approach quite a turn-on; others find this kind of guy intimidating.

The Experienced Player
Then there’s the more experienced player. He is very calm and reassured. He listens to what a woman has to say. You’d think wealth or age would help to make a player more experienced. Not so. Coming across to a woman as though you know exactly what you are doing is all about self-confidence. And it’s not about being confident in closing the deal–it’s about knowing what you have to offer a woman is as high-quality as she could possibly find.

So which one are you?

The mistake I see men make is that they try to be something they’re not. Men will, on the spot, try to get a sense of what would please a woman and change up their approach hoping she’ll take the bait. Personally, I’ve saved myself a lot time and stress by just being myself. Women can sense a poser from a mile away. Being fake is an even bigger turn-off than bad pick-up lines or too much cologne.

Have the courage to be yourself. Once you do, women will let their guard down and be themselves. And when a woman feels at ease, well, anything is possible…

How To Be The Master (of Seduction)

Do you want to seduce the woman you like?

Women should find you irresistible if you want to seduce them. You can get any woman you want if you know the right way to seduce them.

When I talk of seduction, I’m referring to the way in which you act around a woman and how you speak to her. Seduction is your game.

When it comes down to it, it’s all about body language and words. Always keep in mind that you can either break, or create, an opportunity of attracting and seducing women with the right words. You always have to be conscious of your body language–at first–because, even if you use the right words, you may not be able to seduce a woman if you don’t make her feel comfortable with your presence.

Let’s face it: seduction is a mind game both men and women both play. Only those men succeed in the game of seduction if they are very aware of each and every move that they make.

Two piece of advice:

Be unique.

Have an objective.

(I’ll get more into these two in future blog posts.)

When you have mastered these two, you will be able to actually live the experience of seduction and not simply perform the act of seduction.

Here’s the truth: You can make yourself irresistible to the women if you have passion, compassion, distinctiveness and a personal style.

Ask any woman and she will tell you she likes a man who is outgoing, open and has a great sense of humor. So if you want to attract women, make sure that you are not uptight.

The thing is, don’t try too hard either. When I am out on a date with a woman, I can’t help but notice the men around me who are trying to be too funny, too entertaining, talk too loud, have their hands all over the woman they are trying to seduce (when she is clearly uncomfortable) and generally making an ass of themselves. Be cool when you’re with a woman. Don’t be one of those guys who blows it by trying too hard.

It may sound like a cliché, but be a little mysterious. Let the women discover or unfold the mystery. Women loved to be intrigued.